Living the Fast Life

How do you deal with dating someone that constantly has to be doing something? Personally, I’m the “hopeless romantic” in my relationships. I enjoy the small things like cuddling, spending time together, and having meaningful conversations.

At times, I feel like I can’t keep up with people that constantly have to be doing something. You know… the people that can’t stay still. I despise “chasing” others, because at the end of the day, when/if I finally “catch” them, what are they going to do?

I feel like I waste the last hour of work waiting to go home.

Shallow, Selfish, and Seductive

As the title suggests, these are all words that I’d use to describe myself when it comes to relationships and dating in general.

Selfish
When I was 15 years old (back when MySpace was around), I surrounded myself with what some would call “Scene Kidz”. You’d find me editing pictures, joining groups to boost my ego, and talking to every attractive person I could possibly find. That same year, I started dating a guy (that I met online ofcourse) that was 10 years older than me. At the time, I didn’t think anything of it. All I wanted was someone to buy me cigarettes and beer from the gas station.

Shallow
Over the course of the past 7 years, I’ve found myself falling for all the wrong people. The guys with the fucked up past, or the guy that didn’t have a stable living situation. Throughout all of this, I’ve realized that I was blinded by one thing: appearences. I mean, realistically, who wants to be with someone who isn’t physically attractive? The problem with being the shallow person I am in my personal life is that I often ignore how “ugly” people can be on the inside. In other words, I’m extremely picky and I don’t give people the opportunity to be with me (or even know me for that matter) And on top of that, it’s hard to find an attractive guy that isn’t full of himself. We can have our “cakes” and eat them too, right?

Seductive
I like to think that I’m good with “flirting” with people. In other words, I’ve mastered the art of pulling on heart strings and getting people in bed (either that or they are just as shallow as me and are sleeping with me solely based on appearences).

About 2 years ago, I got dumped in a relationship that lasted roughly 3 years. But, one of my less glorious moments was when I left his house (for the last time) to meet (have wine and sleep) with a guy that a former coworker had introduced me to. On to the next.

To this day, I still get a thrill out of texting complete strangers (aka installing every gay dating app known to man).

It’s a savage life as a gay man. Sometimes you have to toughen up and accept the reality of your situation and roll with it.

Welcome to STFUqueer.com

Hello Tumblr! This is my new (anonymous) blog. Here you will find my day-to-day rants and ramblings about my life as a gay man. Enjoy.